


Desperation

by CosmoW



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Aftercare, Alpha Derek, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Coming Untouched, Derek Hale Needs To Use His Words, Everybody Lives, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Stiles Stilinski Needs a Hug, Top Derek Hale/Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:15:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26661298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmoW/pseuds/CosmoW
Summary: Stiles never thought one day he would feel the pain and hunger that solitude can bring. The absolute need to be seen, to be touched, to feel hands lingering on his skin with purpose. Even as he closed his eyes and touched himself at night, pretended it was someone else's fingers, some unknown lover who worshipped his body, it didn't work.It never did.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 245





	Desperation

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so nervous it's my first fanfic ever and english isn't my first language so i'm so sorry if there are mistakes or whatnot.
> 
> Enjoy and don't hesitate to comment to let me know what you think ! ♥

Stiles never thought one day he would feel the pain and hunger that solitude can bring. The absolute need to be seen, to be _touched_ , to feel hands lingering on his skin with purpose. Even as he closed his eyes and touched himself at night, pretended it was someone else's fingers, some unknown lover who worshipped his body, it didn't work. 

It never did.

Usually he was someone that was never short on imagination, he could find and detail a single hypothesis without taking a second to breath. His favourite thing as a kid was to people watch, observe others and imagine their lives, their jobs, if they had children, if they liked animals or what kind of weird hobbies they had. So when the stories and fantasies didn’t work anymore he thought it was just a stress thing, a sign that his body needed a little help or something to overcome the anxiety that his everyday life would bring him. He very well knew that running with werewolves and defeating monsters wasn’t the most relaxing way to live your teenage years. 

So as any hormone-filled seventeen years old would do, he turned to porn. He believed that visual stimulation was the solution and really, who wouldn't want to see handsome men exchange kisses and blowjobs. Laptop next to him and video on full screen, he tried to touch his dick, touch himself like he has been doing since he learned what masturbation was. And it worked, well, from an external point of view it really did. His cock was hard from stimulation, precum pearling at the tip, trails of pleasure helped his fingers rub the sensitive head. He did everything by the book, even ventured his other hand to his hole like he did when he was feeling extra horny. And as his breath shortened and his body got goosebumps, he realized that it wasn’t from the pleasure he started to feel, but from something else. His hands stopped slowly, abandoning his erogenous zones to concentrate on everything else. He felt... _cold_ , lonely, as if something was deeply missing. Stiles could feel his heart in his throat, a reaction he too often associated with panic attacks, with it came the frustration of not knowing what was happening to his body. He blamed his mind, unable to shut down the self-pity, his subconscious touch-starved for so long that it finally caught up to him after years of denial.

He tried to leave it at that, a single night of loneliness that didn’t mean anything. He went on with his daily life, going to school, gossiping with Lydia when they should be doing research as the werewolves trained in the backyard of the Hale house. As the days went by the heartache was becoming unbearable.

* * *

He used to love movie night, he actually was the one who brought up the idea to the pack, excitedly telling them that a bonding time was much needed for everyone, a place and time for them to connect differently than just calling each other when a threat was in town. Each reacted to their true character, Scott and Allison being on board with everything Stiles proposed, Erica and Isaac were equally excited to finally have friends, a chosen family in which they could trust wholeheartedly. The others were silent at first but Stiles knew how to read their faces. Lydia was already planning what they would need to make the evening perfect, Jackson just shrugged -useless jerk-, then Boyd and Derek exchanged a look, one that Stiles never learned how to figure out correctly. In the end, Derek just stared at him for a moment and nodded, the beginning of a smile on his face, enough to fill Stiles with pride and satisfaction. 

Months later and his safe haven turned into something he avoided, coming up with excuses now and then but he simply can't disappear from them every friday night. He always knew what to do; come and smile, be his usual hyper self, throwing jokes and making sure that all were happy. Never mind his own struggles, his altruism would put them first every. single. time. It’s just how he is and wouldn’t change it for the world, he thrived on seeing the pack, _his_ pack peaceful and united. But in the darkness as the others watched the movie or whispered to each other, his smile slowly dropped, his body too tired to put on a joyful face. He could sometimes sense that some were looking at him, mainly Lydia or Derek, like they knew something was up, but never really asked what was wrong. He had the habit of brushing it off by sending them a little smile, one that meant “don’t worry I’m just tired”. Truth is, he really was, tired of seeing all the others paired up while he was just by himself. So much so that often he believed that it would never happen. That nothing -and no one- will finally satiate his deepest desire. One so simple that it would bring him to tears regularly, hugging himself in the dark, fingernails digging into the soft skin of his arms, leaving marks of internal struggle when the only scratches he longed for were the ones left in a passionate embrace.

“Oh my god, are you serious ?!” Isaac’s voice startled him and others, made him snap out of his thoughts and come back to reality. Lydia, Boyd, Derek and himself looked at Isaac, wondering what was the commotion. 

Erica gave them the answer, a mischievous smile on her painted red lips. “Sorry I was just telling him something my coworker told me this morning. Lucy heard that a new club opened not far from where I work and it sounded... interesting.” 

“What’s so interesting in a club ?” Scott asked once he detached his mouth from Allison’s.

“It’s a sex club Scott, obviously.” Lydia rolled his eyes at Scott’s innocence, he tended to forget that Erica was newly employed in a sex shop and therefore had many dirty and funny stories to tell at the end of the day. 

“Not just any sex club, she was just telling me that they have like special rooms where you could go and a guy or girl was just waiting there blindfolded ?” Isaac explained, a definite confused look on his face as he struggled to understand the point or even visualized the whole ordeal. 

“It sounds weird if you say it like that. I mean, it’s just an easier way for people to fuck without worrying about small talk or even what the other looks like.” The blonde lightly shrugged; it was clear that she understood the reasons why someone would like that kind of thing. 

Which was definitely not the case of Scott, who was still stuck on the concept of a sex club. Stiles was oddly silent but was religiously listening to Erica. His mind started to wander once more, his imagination in full speed, he tried to project himself in this situation. Naked and waiting for someone to come and just take him. He shivered as he imagined what a touch like this would be like, deprived from sight with only his body to _feel_.

“These people are fucked up.” Jackson snarled on the couch, giving his opinion on something that seemed above him. 

“Or just lonely.” Allison softly added with a pitying smile on her empathetic face, her fingers in Scott’s hair. Her comment ended the conversation as Boyd smacked Jackson at the back of his head for his useless input, earning a low growl from the jock as everyone went back to focusing on the movie. 

It was not really Jackson’s remark that bothered Stiles, but more so Allison’s. He was used to ignore approximately everything Jackson might say, but the fact that one of his best friends would be sorry for those who seek comfort didn’t sit right with him. The heaviness in his stomach was back, accompanied by all the uneasiness that he usually felt at home. He tried to control his breathing to not alarm the werewolves around him who could smell his emerging sadness. That’s when he felt a ghosting touch on his shoulder from the only person that was behind him as the teen was sat on the floor. Derek and his questioning eyes, a barely there graze of his fingertips before withdrawing his hand even though Stiles would cry for it to stay. It was just a reminder of his presence, a comforting weight that made him sigh with relief. Derek just sat in silence during the discussion but he knew somehow that it did something to Stiles and maybe wanted to say something but he never did. Stiles sometimes wished he would speak up, tell him that he wasn’t alone, that he was there for him and other endless dreams that would never come true.

* * *

Stile started to regret all of his life choices. He never thought that this would be so unnerving for him. He always had this carefree attitude that helped him deal with stressing situations, but this time nothing saved him from the anxiety that was building up inside. All the steps from now on were easy, get a fake id -he asked Danny who had connections-, tell his dad that he was sleeping at Scott’s, get a bus so no one would recognize his jeep if he parked nearby. He thought he had it all figured out, that once a member of the staff would give him a room it would be the easiest part. He just had to get naked and put on the blindfold provided that was on the pillow. Easy peasy, right ?

_Fuck no._

It was the hardest thing Stiles ever had to do. He was sitting on the bed and didn’t even know what to begin with. He always thought that for his first time, his lover would undress him slowly with tender hands and a reassuring smile. Now he had to do it himself, and wait for someone he didn’t know. Who was he kidding, it was part of the deal, he knew his part and was willing to make sacrifices on his ideal first time just for one hour of _attention_. He was so desperate for it, it was the only explanation for his decision. Never in a million years Stiles would’ve thought about doing this if Erica hadn’t brought up the club. And in his ferocious stubbornness, he told himself that he didn’t back down from a challenge. That he couldn’t go back home, tail between his legs and dive even deeper in isolation. 

So there he was, completely naked in a room with only the deep sound of the music from the main entrance. The bass resonated in his head and made his heartbeat even louder in his ears. He felt exposed even if he was the only person in the room for now, no one to watch his body and yet he wanted to put his clothes back on as if he was in front of an audience. He approached the bed as if it was an enemy, he let his hand slide on the covers and found them surprisingly soft, he probably expected coarse dirty sheets that were never washed. It made him relax a bit, enough to fully lay on the bed and appreciate the feeling on his skin. He sat down comfortably and took the blindfold, stroking it a second before testing it in front of his eyes to apprehend the complete darkness that it would provide. 

Stiles took a deep breath before tying the knot that secured the piece of fabric, leaving him in total obscurity. He waited seconds, minutes, he didn't really know, he tried to concentrate on the music when he heard the door opening, making the music louder for a second. 

His heart skipped a beat as he realized what that meant. Someone was in the room, another man was there to… well, to fuck him. His fingers grasped the sheets, knuckles white and taking deep breaths. He just wanted to get it over with, for the other to come and touch.

He heard a low "Fuck" from a deep voice and didn't really know if it was a good thing or not. He wondered if the other liked how he looked or if he was uninterested and would leave him alone once more. 

But then he felt the mattress dip, announcing that the man was now close, so close Stiles could feel his breath on his face. And _finally_ , a hand. Laid where his neck meets his shoulder, so heavy and so, so big that Stiles practically drooled to the feeling of being grounded. The fingertips were kinda coarse but the caress was so soft, almost loving if Stiles dared to dream. 

"Please.. " That's all Stiles could say, begging for something, for more, for anything the other would give him. He was already panting, nervous of what was coming but he couldn't wait any longer. 

The other seemed to take his time, maybe to tease him even more as the hand went up to his hair then on his face, fingers touching the hem of the blindfold before Stiles could stop him. 

"No, no, wai-" The light blinded him for a moment as his eyes took in the room but the face in front of him was nothing he could even have imagined. 

"D-Derek ?! What the fuck ?" He was like petrified, scared to death to have been discovered by Derek of all people. He was stunned but his body moved for him, pulling on the sheets to cover his body while Derek, as usual, was silent. He just looked at him and said nothing, letting Stiles freak out. 

"What are you doing here ? I- Answer me for fuck's sake." His eyes watered, overwhelmed by the situation and the humiliation. 

Derek finally reacted, frowned his brows and stood up to distance himself from the bed. "I followed you. Get dressed, we're leaving." 

"What do you mean you followed me ?! Ju-just leave Derek I-... I'm not leaving." He didn't know if he could honestly, his limbs were locked in place, his knees against his chest and his head bowed to look at the bedding. He refused to meet Derek's eyes, too scared to see something that would break him. Disgust, hate. 

He knew Derek enough to just _know_ when he was angry, even without a werewolf's smell. He couldn't face it, not right now and probably not ever. A low rumble filled the room, one that Stiles knew too well. 

"Stiles. We're fucking going, right now. I'm not leaving you here so let's go." He used his Alpha voice, the one who worked so well on the others but not so much on Stiles, the human token. 

"Why are you doing this just leave already ! I'm not leaving without-"

"Without what Stiles ? Getting _fucked_ ? Is that what you really want ? For an unknown bastard to come and take your first time like you're some kind of slut ? Like you're nothing ?" Derek's growl was getting louder by the minute, his eyes glowing blood red. 

Stiles felt tears sliding down his cheeks, Derek's words hurt him so bad that he couldn't control his pain anymore. He finally lifted up his head to look at the werewolf so that the other could see how distressed he was. 

"Why do you care ? What if it's what I want ? Would you leave then or do I have to get fucked in front of you ?" Then for a second all hell broke loose. Derek snarled loudly at the idea, shutting up Stiles for a heavy silence to take over. 

Derek sighed deeply and came back on the bed, looking at Stiles in the eyes, giving a pleading expression that Stiles never saw before. 

"It's not happening. I know it's not what you want. We'll talk, just- let's go Stiles. Please." It was the first time that Stiles heard him beg like this other than to save someone's life. It didn't know why it affected him so much. Well he knew exactly why. Because it was Derek, untouchable and silent Derek who would protect them no matter what, without demanding anything in return. He's always been weak for Derek, letting a helpless crush dictate his decision. 

"Okay.. Just, let me get dressed alone please ? Wait for me outside, I promise I'm coming." His voice subdued and tired, he started to feel the exhaustion from the evening weighting on him. 

Derek simply nodded then left silently after a last look. Stiles was then alone and wanted to die right there and then. He didn't know what's going to happen, he wanted to run far away and hide. But Derek was now waiting and he knew that if he didn't show himself quickly Derek would come back into the room. 

He finally stood and picked up his clothes, putting them back on as he wiped the remaining tears that escaped. He opened the door silently to see Derek standing there, his face void of emotions as the two walked to the exit. They went to Derek's car and as Stiles sat in the passenger seat he felt Derek's eyes on him, probably waiting for him to say something. However this time Stiles couldn't speak, he didn't have the strength to explain himself or even change the subject. He looked out the window as the car started. 

"I followed you because I just knew. I knew you would do something stupid the second Erica talked about this place. I should have said something. But I didn't." His grip on the wheel was almost deadly, the guilt making him want to punch something. 

"No, you didn't." Stiles couldn't stop himself, he regretted his words immediately, knowing that Derek was already guilt ridden enough to put even more blame on him. 

* * *

They didn't say anything for the rest of the ride to Derek's house. Stiles wanted to go to sleep and forget about everything that just happened. As they entered the house he started to walk towards the bedroom assigned to him when he felt Derek grab his wrist to face him. 

"Just talk to me Stiles. Promise that you'll not go back." He didn't let go until Stiles spoke to him, he wanted an answer that he couldn't give him. 

"I can't Derek I- I'm just fucking tired." His eyes filled with tears once more as he tried to break free half-heartedly. "I can't feel that anymore, I'm just tired of- of feeling alone like this."

Then everything happened quickly, Derek went to him, his hands closing up on his face. Holding him like something precious and fragile. Stiles wanted to fully cry at how good this felt, he shouldn't feel like this, Derek shouldn't touch him this way. 

"You're not alone Stiles." Stiles wanted to believe him but he simply didn't, he couldn't. He closed his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief. 

His eyes snapped open when he felt lips against his. Derek Hale was fucking kissing him and he couldn't believe it, so much that he didn't even reacted for a second. As Derek started to pull back, Stiles didn't let go, yanked him back against him so they could kiss again, for real this time. 

It was everything Stiles ever dreamed of and more. Soft lips pressed to his, a hint of tongue that made him whimper. He could taste the other completely and couldn't get enough. 

They battled each other a second, Stiles lost in the _need_ to get more, the desperation to hold on to Derek like he will disappear at any moment. Hands tightly wound on his shirt as if he could breathe him in, pull him even closer. Derek just tried to slow him down, calm him, make him relish the kiss instead of rushing into it. His fingers buried in his hair, caressing his scalp gently, giving him goosebumps that went down along his spine. Stiles loosened his grip, trembling under Derek's kiss. 

Derek was the one to break it, earning another whimper from Stiles, visibly drunk from the kiss and in need of more. His amber eyes slightly dazed as he took in Derek's face. 

"Breathe Stiles, it's okay." Foreheads bumped as they slowly breathed together, making Stiles come down from his high. "Come here baby." 

He pulled him against his body, the embrace firm and secure. Stiles thought it would be suffocating but on the contrary he finally felt safe and held. 

He felt _loved_. 

His eyes closed on their own and his head laid on Derek's chest as he was lulled by his breathing. It's been a long time since he felt this soothed by another. The person being Derek made it seem even more special. 

The tenderness lasted a few seconds before the shivers came back. Derek was kissing his neck, brushing his lips softly, taking in his scent and leaving wet trails. A hint of teeth nipped the supple skin and Stiles let out a breathy moan, he was so sensitive to everything Derek did, ready to fall into his arms and never let go. 

"Derek, I- I need more I want-" He knew he didn't make sense, his mind scrambled and he was unable to form proper sentences. Hopefully Derek understood what he wanted, what he needed.

"I know Stiles, I know, I'll take care of you." Before he could register the sweet promise, Derek's hands slid down his back, reaching his thighs to lift him up like he weighed nothing. 

Stiles gasped as he held onto his shoulders, a soft smile lingered on his lips at the idea of being carried by the Alpha. He didn't know he would like this, being handled like he was too delicate for the world. But he trusted him so much, he knew Derek would never hurt him. He could hear himself giggle a little as Derek walked to his bedroom, Stiles imagined the reaction of the pack if they could see them like this. All thought of them disappeared quickly when his feet touched the ground again and he was once more face to face with Derek. 

Somehow it felt like a new beginning, a moment that Stiles would remember for the rest of his days. He was suddenly nervous, pulled on the hem of his shirt frenetically, as much as he wanted to he was incapable of doing anything, Derek had to take over or they would end up silent for hours. 

"You're so beautiful." Derek's hand brushed his cheek with his knuckles.

Stiles was just dumbstruck, mouth slightly open as he blushed furiously. How could he say that when himself looked like a fucking God ? Stiles never met someone as gorgeous as Derek and just knowing that the other could find him remotely attractive was a new piece of information that he didn't know what to do with. 

So he followed his instinct and just kissed him, smashing his body against the other's, enough to push them back a few steps. Derek smelled his eagerness distinctively and couldn't help but smile in the kiss, amused at his desperate behavior. He slowed him down by dominating him with his tongue. He could practically taste his arousal and wondered if he would discover other new flavors on his body. He wished to learn all of them off by heart. 

They were both breathless by the end of it, and Stiles knew that soon it wouldn't be enough, that as amazing as kissing Derek was, he needed more. The werewolf seemed to read his mind since his hands started to move again, to explore his curves, visibly annoyed at the clothes for simply existing. He searched in Stiles eyes something that would stop him from undressing him, fear or regret. But he only found want, desire and excitement. His eyes shined and Derek slowly took the end of the shirt to pull it over his head. Even though Derek saw him naked at the club, Stiles prayed that the other was not disappointed. A fear that went out the window the moment Derek laid his hands on him again, caressing his stomach, then going up to rub distractedly his nipples which earned him a strangled moan from Stiles. 

Stiles lost himself in the touch, he finally had what he always wanted and he couldn't even describe what he felt. He was _whole_ at last and could die to stay like this, Derek's big hands made him feel small and protected. Like nothing could happen to him as long as Derek was by his side. He went from being soothed to impatient, a new shot of energy went through him and he desperately craved to see Derek's body. 

"You too." Nothing more was needed as he took off Derek's shirt as well and let his fingers explore his abs, feeling the muscles under the skin and thanked all deities for giving him this man. 

Derek tried to distract him with another kiss that made him dizzy, no longer paying attention to the hands that were unbuttoning his jeans. He only realized at this moment that he was already hard, his cock in need of attention and he stopped breathing for a second because Derek took advantage of his daydreaming to pull down his jeans and boxers at the same time, leaving him yet again naked for him to see. 

Stiles closed his eyes nervously and found blindly Derek's collarbone to kiss him there, looking for a diversion to hold on to and not internally freak out about his lack of body confidence. 

Derek sensed his discomfort and decided to undress too, seeing as Stiles might be more at ease of both were naked. His only wish was for the human to feel like he could let go completely, let him take control of what he desired. Both were bare and so close yet so far. They could feel the other body's warmth, the electricity in the air was obvious but Stiles knew that Derek would come to him, make him forget his worries. 

Easy enough, Derek put a hand on his hip and pushed him back on the bed, following suit to lay beside him. Their bodies were slightly touching and Stiles wanted nothing more than to put his hands on Derek's dick. It looked so hot and hard, and kinda soft ? Maybe he was losing his mind to think so but it was practically calling for him. He didn't really know why but he didn't dare to do it, to extend his fingers and stroke the foreskin that was so tempting. As he gathered his courage, Derek beat him to it by sliding his hand lower and gently rubbing his thumb on the head of his cock. The contact shook Stiles to his core, his thighs trembling and his back arched progressively as Derek went on to tease him again and again, the handjob too soft, a torture too sweet for his poor body. Stiles buried his face in Derek's neck, holding on to his forearm to let him know that he couldn't last long if he continued. 

"I want to finger you so bad, make you come like this. Open you up so I can fuck you deep. You're gonna look so pretty stretched out on my cock." Derek breathed in his ear, lips brushing his temple as his fangs started to itch. The wolf wanted to come out and play, destroy Stiles in the most pleasurable torture possible so he would never think about doing this with any other men. 

Stiles thought he fantasized the words, he never thought Derek would talk dirty this way, for _him_. Once the image was in his head it was stuck, swirled in his mind to become obsessed. He wanted it, now, desperate for Derek to take him, to fill him up and never leave. 

"Yes yes yes.." It was the only form of consent he could give right now, he tried to open his eyes and look at the were but everything was blurry. 

He might have thought he was going crazy if Derek didn’t handle him with care. For an umpteenth attempt to ground Stiles, he moved from his side to take his rightful place between his legs, hands on the soft thighs, slowly pressing without leaving any marks - _yet_ -. Stiles was still shaking uncontrollably, his breath erratic and Derek started to worry that he might lose him for a second. Stiles was letting out soft whines and his eyes were unfocused, his lungs burned but he didn’t know how to stop. Fear was crippling on him when a weight laid on top of him, Derek and his beautiful body was enveloping him like a blanket and somehow settled him gently, his vision cleared out and his breath deepened, making Derek his only focus point. Their dicks were rubbing and even if it sent shots of bliss to his mind, he concentrated on his face. All of his emotions could be read on his features and it’s the first time Stiles saw him smile so openly. It was one of the soft ones, this little smile that made the corners of his eyes crease. He looked so carefree that Stiles promised himself to do everything he could to keep seeing this smile. 

One last delicate kiss before Derek reached out to the bedside table, looking for the lube which he quickly grabbed and opened, smearing the lotion on his fingertips. Stiles splayed his hands on Derek’s back as he tried to remember to breathe. The werewolf spread kisses on his neck while his hand went down to find his entrance, gently putting pressure on his hole. Stiles squirmed and gasped at the action, a blush darkening his cheeks as he could feel his cock dripping wetly. Then a finger was pushed slowly, passing the rim until it was deep inside and Stiles' back arched from the feeling. Nothing compared to this sensation, one provided from someone else, from Derek who was so gentle with him, working his finger in and out to finally add another. 

"Tell me how you feel Stiles." He wanted to hear the human, his moaning was so hot but he needed his words to keep going. He sucked his skin to leave a deep bruise that would last for days, a token of this moment, not that either of them could forget it. 

Stiles tried to open his mouth to talk but only a whimper came out, his body on fire by the fingers buried deep, regularly nudging his prostate and sending him on the edge. 

"I- so good I-... Harder please I need- more, more Alpha, please." Stiles hiccupped and squirmed, tried to rock his hips against the fingers, but Derek controlled the pace expertly even as he let out a low growl when he heard Stiles calling him Alpha. He moved his wrist faster, digging deep to rub on his sensitive spot restlessly. 

Stiles' reaction was instant, he choked on a moan, fingernails scratching the shoulder blades and his back arched so hard that he almost came off the bed. He was burning from the inside, drowned in hot waves of pleasure that kept building up until he came, crying out in the silent room. His eyes blurred from tears that he couldn't hold in, a sob strangled in his throat as he came down from his orgasm, momentarily disoriented from the intensity that took over his whole body. 

"You okay baby ?" Derek asked softly, he was a little worried, he knew this reaction could be expected but he wanted Stiles to tell him he was okay. He stroked his hair, pushing out wet strands stuck to his forehead, waiting for him to catch his breath.

“I’m sorry I-” He was still crying silently, he was so embarrassed he wanted to disappear. He put his arm on his face to hide his eyes and tears. He felt so ridiculous to cry like this in front of Derek, all the fear inside him imploded and he finally felt _alive_. He didn’t know how to tell Derek this, that that’s all he ever wanted, it was more than just a sex thing and now that he experienced that he was scared to lose it all, to crave it nonstop and never feel that again. 

“Hey, don’t apologize it’s okay. I have to know if you want to stop or .. ?” Derek asked.

Stiles almost gasped as he removed his arm quickly to look at Derek surprised. He didn’t think that Derek might want to continue and go all the way ? Sure he said things that implied it but maybe that was just talk you know ? He suddenly had a dangerous thought in his heart, that perhaps Derek really wanted to take care of him for the long run. That in some way he desired the same things, that Stiles could make him feel as completed as he felt. It was probably wishful thinking but he wanted to take the shot, if it was the only chance he got then let it be as perfect as possible. 

“Fuck me Derek.. Please, never stop.” He went in for a kiss, the first since Derek touched him fully and also the first one that Stiles took complete control of. He hoped Derek knew what he meant, wished the other could read into this kiss his plea for more. 

Derek finally found this eagerness that was part of Stiles, this endless excitement that was subdued for the last months and that he missed so much. He wanted to bring him back to life and light up the spark that made him the incredible person that he is. He let Stiles kiss him, he savored the taste of his lips and breathed in the little moans that Stiles let out unconsciously. Until now Derek was focused on Stiles, putting him first to show him what real pleasure was. Not that he suddenly wanted to be selfish but rather offer him a connection. Something deep and unimaginable in which he could finally find himself and that he would never crave for again.

He wanted to ask him how he wanted to do it, but somehow he knew that Stiles needed _touch_ and closeness. He noticed it in his behavior weeks before and now he had to make it right, he laid down on top without crushing him, his hands caressing his body, sliding down to get back to his hole. He knew he had to stretch him a little more to fuck him smoothly so he pushed his fingers back gently as Stiles must be sensitive from overstimulation. Responsive as ever, Stiles hissed, conflicted between pushing his hips back to meet his hand and pulling away from feeling too much. 

Stiles knew it was his only chance to reciprocate the bliss he was feeling before the pleasure scrambled his brain once more. He finally reached out to take Derek's cock in his hand and oh boy, was it amazing. His action earned him a groan that made him smile, he let his long fingers fondle the slit, wondering about the taste. Maybe another time he would have the opportunity to lick it religiously, get lost in the flavors and learn its smell. His mouth watered as he continued to rub his dick until Derek removed his fingers from inside him, leaving him feeling oddly empty. 

"Tell me if it hurts okay ?" Derek put his hands on his hips, wetly rubbing his cock against the entrance as Stiles nodded, silent in apprehension. 

Stiles grabbed the sheets to anchor him as he felt the tip of Derek's cock pass his rim, pushing slowly inside. It was big compared to his fingers, he felt so stretched out and completely filled. A high whimper came out of his mouth as he looked at Derek longingly, extending his hands to beg him to come closer. The werewolf couldn't resist this silent demand, he leaned forward against Stiles' chest to embrace him, his hands curled around his waist and shoulder. The human was completely surrounded and he never felt this good, the little pain from penetration was nothing compared to the sensation of being held and full. Derek's hips started to thrust deep and slow into him, spurred on by the long moans that Stiles let out. It was nothing rough, but as much passionate and intense. 

"You feel so good Stiles, you're so tight baby you- I want to fuck you for hours, keep you in my bed always. Make you forget the club and be the only one to take you like this." Each thrust made the tip massage his prostate and forced out a moan. Stiles couldn't focus anymore, Derek's promises made him crazy, he wanted to tell him that it was all he wished for. 

Sweat started to make their bodies slide easier against each other, adding another stimulation as Stiles' cock was trapped between their stomachs. 

"Yours, I'm yours Derek." Stiles bumped their foreheads, they breathed the same air as his hands went down Derek's back to land on his cheeks. 

Derek started to fuck him harder, his hips snapping forcefully against his ass, both were kissing and licking into the other's mouth. They simply couldn't get enough and even Derek's control went out the window, he lost his rhythm and slammed his cock onto Stiles' prostate. Stiles mewled as he rocked his hips harder as well, desperate to chase the orgasm he could feel building up inside. He didn't think he would come like this a second time but Derek was relentless, aiming the same spot every time he went in. 

He cried out as his cock spurted out cum between them, his moan was swallowed by Derek's mouth as he kissed him ferociously and came in him, flooding his hole with one last thrust. 

Even though Stiles' limbs were trembling, he couldn't let go, he was still firmly holding on to Derek. He felt like he could cry again but didn't want to, he wanted to bask in the afterglow without the crippling anxiety. 

"Stay, stay please. Stay with me." Stiles whispered but Derek heard him as if he was screaming. 

As much as he liked hearing Stiles beg for him, he knew it wasn't the time for him to tease. Stiles needed reassurance, a reminder that he could trust him, that all of this wasn't a dream. 

"I'm here baby, I'm staying it's okay. You can let go Stiles, I'm not leaving." He could swear it if the human wanted him to, he would do anything for him. 

Very slowly he started to detach himself, his limbs went limp from exhaustion as he unstuck his body from Derek's. The werewolf was still touching him though, caressing his scalp soothingly and leaving sweet kisses on his cheekbones. 

"I'm not leaving you Stiles. You're _mine_ , you'll never be alone anymore."

And for once, Stiles started to believe it. 


End file.
